Boo!! Here Are Some Scary Facts About Your Favorite NBA Team
Happy Halloween everybody, I hope if you’re young and cool you have a fun time out at the bar and if you’re old and washed I hope no kids come to your house too late or you don’t wake up with your house vandalized because you didn’t give out full size candy bars. Anyway, given today’s holiday I wanted to take a moment and give you some spooky 100% facts about your favorite NBA team. We’ll go in alphabetical order, and I’m sorry if this gets a little too scary for you.
Atlanta Hawks
The Hawks currently have the second worst offense in the NBA with an Offensive Rating of 100.1
Boston Celtics
Jayson Tatum is shooing 28% from behind the arc this season
Brooklyn Nets
Allen Crabbe has 2/37M left on his contract and is currently shooting 27/31%
Charlotte Hornets
They are paying Bismack Biyombo $17M a year and will for at least one more season. He plays 11 minutes a night and averages 2.5/3.3
Chicago Bulls
This happened
Cleveland Cavaliers
Prized rookie Collin Sexton is shooting 42/14% and Kevin Love probably needs foot surgery.
Dallas Mavericks
This is probably Dirks last season (sad face emoji)
Denver Nuggets
Jamal Murray is off to the worst shooting start of his career with 41/31% splits
Detroit Pistons
They owe Reggie Jackson $35M over the next two years and he’s having a worse season than Ish Smith, who makes $6M
Golden State Warriors
They won’t keep Boogie after this season (this was literally the best I could do…fuck the Warriors)
Houston Rockets
They’re 1-5 and their window is probably closed
Indiana Pacers
The Pacers are 25th in the league in three point shooting after adding three point shooters over the summer
Los Angeles Clippers
Boban only plays 9.6 minutes a night
Los Angeles Lakers
The Lakers give up the most points in the NBA at 122.4 and are already turning on each other
Memphis Grizzlies
Chandler Parsons has a knee injury at the moment, hasn’t played in the last 4 games
Miami Heat
They owe Tyler Johnson another $38M and he’s currently averaging just 8 points on 40/20% shooting
Milwaukee Bucks
Despite being undefeated, the Bucks are not getting to the line all that much, as they rank 26th in FTA
Minnesota Timberwolves
They are going to have to trade Jimmy Butler for 50 cents on the dollar. Not really a fact, but totally a fact.
New Orleans Pelicans
The Pelicans are going to have to decide between Nikola Mirotic and Julius Randle this summer. Both have been fantastic this season
New York Knicks
Despite how good he has looked, Alonzo Trier is going to have to be sent down to the G-League given his contract status while Trey Burke is putting up 39/37% splits
Oklahoma City Thunder
Dennis Schroder, someone with 3/45M left on his contract has pretty much stunk with 33/28% splits and a -16 net rating
Orlando Magic
The Magic have the worst ranked offense in the NBA with a 99.4 Offensive Rating and an overall -10.2 net rating, also the worst in the league.
Philadelphia 76ers
These are the Markelle Fultz’s On/Off numbers when Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid are on the court
Phoenix Suns
They passed up on guys like Jamal Murray, Domantas Sabonis, Buddy Hield, and Thon Maker to take Dragan Bender, a player who just had his team option declined 3 years later.
Portland Trail Blazers
They owe Meyers Leonard another $21M for a guy that plays 8 minutes a night and averages 2 points a game
Sacramento Kings
Justin Jackson still is having issues shooting the ball, averaging just 37/20% splits despite playing 27 minutes a night.
San Antonio Spurs
Surprisingly, the Spurs have the 27th ranked defense with a Drtg of 114.5. That’s the highest it’s been in their history
Toronto Raptors
Ummmm….they kinda stink on the road? Like the Warriors, this is the best I could do
Utah Jazz
Ricky Rubio is having the worst shooting season of his career with 30/33% splits despite taking the second most FGA in his last 4 seasons
Washington Wizards
They’re 1-6 with the league’s 24th best offense, 26th best defense, and they are about to start paying Wall’s 4/169M extension next year and Dwight is slated to return soon.
Sorry if this scared some of you, sometimes the truth can be hard to see. Any shock you? If you had to choose, what would be some other scary stats we’ve seen so far this season? List them in the comments below.